This is the first post of a short series titled “Reflections of a Pharmacist One Year In” that talk about my pharmacy career thus far.

It’s crazy to think it’s almost one year since I have started working as a pharmacist. As the milestone approaches, I thought it would be refreshing to look back at how I became a pharmacist, and write out my story of events.

As a fourth year pharmacy student in the early months of 2019, I was increasingly anxious and worried about my future. School and clinical rotations were coming to an end soon, and that meant I had to face my two biggest concerns yet: passing my Canadian board exams (the PEBCs as we call them) to successfully become a licensed pharmacist, and finding a pharmacist job. Everything was up in the air and uncertain, and that led to a feeling of dread in me.

Job-search wise, things appeared rough. The possibility of being able to stay with my current employer were slim, and I heard crickets for every resume I sent out to other employers. I remember going to a pharmacist meet-and-greet event, and one of the pharmacists asked “does anyone here have a job lined-up?” The question was met with nervous chuckle and laughter among my friends and colleagues at the table. My friends and I constantly fretted about our lack of success in finding employment and the limited job opportunities. Our job futures seemed bleak.

Exam-wise, I was starting to feel overwhelmed by the amount of preparation that needed to be done. All these therapeutic and miscellaneous pharmacy topics I had spent the last four years learning (and easily forgetting after an exam) were all testable material on an expensive set of exams that dictated your future career. How am I ever going to get all of this studied in-time and well enough to pass this exam?

Fast forward a couple months, and I found myself sitting in my basement, 8 hours a day, frantically reading and re-writing notes from a huge therapeutics textbook, in hopes of remembering and refreshing as much content as possible. Then came the day of the multiple choice board exam. I booked the earliest exam on the earliest possible writing date to get it over as soon as possible. That day was possibly the darkest day of my pharmacy schooling yet; I remember walking out of the exam feeling defeated, that I had failed miserably and I would have to re-write the exam. At that point, I was even more unsure of where my pharmacy career was going – no job, not sure if I can even get a job, not sure if I can even be a pharmacist…

Fortunately, the job side of things became better. Surprisingly, an employer I hadn’t paid as much thought to earlier (but applied to) called me for an interview. I went to the interview without high hopes, but excitingly I got a call a few days later offering me a pharmacy intern and eventually pharmacist position. I was ecstatic and after brief thought accepted the offer. There was finally some potential certainty in life to look forward to.

I started my 100 hours of mandatory pharmacy internship shortly afterwards, as I waited for my board exam results to come out. As an intern, I was under the direct supervision of the staff pharmacists at the pharmacy in performing the day-to-day functions of a pharmacist. I remember the pharmacists would always introduce me to the patients as “Frank, our intern who WILL be a pharmacist soon.” And I would always think “is that going to be true? Did I even pass my exams to be a pharmacist? Am I going to be a pharmacist?” Or am I just wasting my time here?”

Internship flew by, and it was now a waiting game for board exam results to be released. As I waited, I also constantly asked myself: “do I have the ability to step up to the occasion and bear all the responsibilities and duties of a successful pharmacist?” The day when results came out was probably one of the most anxious days of my life, anxiously anticipating to see if I was a successful candidate…

… And I was a successful candidate! At that moment, a lot of uncertainties and doubts from the past months were finally resolved. I had passed my board exams. I had found a pharmacist job. I was going to be a pharmacist, ready for the next chapter of my pharmacy career. I got a call from my manager; I had my first day of pharmacist work set.

Looking back, the theme of this journey to becoming a pharmacist was one of uncertainties evolving into certainties. Some of my self-doubts and insecurities in hindsight seem overblown and silly, but in the moment they were real and scary. When other friends in the following pharmacy cohorts ask me about my journey, I try and share my story with them. It’s natural to be uncertain and anxious of what’s to come, but with preparation and perseverance we will overcome these temporary challenges to face what’s next. Search for the faith and confidence in yourself to go far.